Setting My Hair With Earthtones Natural

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out. Your support is greatly appreciated and I’m so glad you decided to read up on my latest hair care adventures. As most of you already know, if you’ve been following my blog for a while, I am not a professional hairstylist or hair scientist. I am just a regular mom to two beautiful girls, who decided to take control of my natural hair journey in order to better educate my girls and be the example of what natural hair looks like. This does not mean that I am against relaxers and chemically altered hair, I just prefer to deal with my God given curls.
 If by chance your hair is relaxed and you would like some help in caring for your tresses, I highly these two wonderful ladies, @hairlicious and @dominique.baker.
Before we get started I just want to remind you again that I am not a professional in the hair care field. All opinions expressed are strictly my own and have no professional bearing. I just like experiment with different product to ensure that my girls and I (and now you) have the tools necessary to have the hair of your dreams.

Set Your Hair?

Every time I wash my hair I can not just let it air dry, my hair must set. What I mean by that is that I go through my hair while it’s wet and I apply my leave in conditioner and styler. I then proceed to part it in sections, I detangle each part and then braid/twist my hair. This allows me to better manipulate my hair into the style that I want without damaging my hair. It also allows for the curls to pop and shine the way I want them to . 

shared102What is Earthtones Naturals?

For a complete review of this brand and the products purchased please click here

But I loved their hair milk and hair butter so much that I had to use it on my hair. The shine you see in these pictures are absolutely real! 

The milk makes it super easy to detangle your hair using your hands. If you have a favourite detangling tool than you sure will love that combo. But the hair butter is what my ends craved but never knew I needed. This butter makes my feel like butter. Every tangle is a thing of the past and detangling isn’t a worry. 

Last Words…

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I highly recommend using Earthtones Natural products. They are based in Canada and as a fellow black Canadian it is important now more than ever to support our own. Also you won’t have to worry about customs, which for me is a plus. 

Their online customer service is amazing. My package had gotten lost and I contacted them. They were so great. They took care of the situation and kept me in the loop until I received my product. 

I love that they carry a variety of products that are specific to each curl need. Since no two curls are the same they should therefore be treated as such. I will say that my hair has tight curls, low porosity and my ends are extremely prone to damage ever since I’ve been battling dandruff. 

Make sure you check online in order to get the product that is right for your hair and your hair care needs. The Curl Quench line is super hydrating and moisturizing and is perfect for hair that needs a little more oomph in that department. 

Have you used Earthtones Naturals? What are your thoughts?

My 3 Step Skin Care Routine

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog. In case you haven’t been here before, my name is Sandy Esprit. I am happily married and blessed to with two beautiful daughters. My life is super busy but I always do my best to address my skin. For your information this post is not sponsored and all opinions stated are strictly my own.

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The Background Story

Ever since my second daughter was born I had to transition once more into the world of sleepless nights and early mornings all the while being a wife to my then two year old and still functioning as a human being. Stress has never been a friend to my skin, therefore the appearance of acne and dry skin was not welcomed on this pretty little canvas I’ve worked oh so very hard to maintain. This of course was coupled with the appearance of  puffy eyes. Puffy eyes I knew was a sleep deprivation problem but acne and dry skin was not going to be tolerated no matter how exhausted I was.

Within the past six months I’ve curated a three step skin care routine that I can do daily and that don’t take up a lot of time. Considering I have two little ones to get prepare in the morning, time is of the essence. It’s a simple routine that I practice day and night.

The Routine

Cleanser: La Roche Posay Effaclar Purifying Gel

This cleanser has been a staple in my skin care routine ever since I was in university. I was introduced to it by a coworker of mine. My skin problem back then was just acne. I didn’t know anything about skin type but I am so glad she introduced me to it. It cleared up my acne and brought balance to my skin pH. It’s cleanses the skin without stripping it completely. It’s free of alcohol, paraben, soap and dye. Even though my skin is no longer oily, I still swear by it.

Serum: Strivectin Peptight Tightening & Brightening Face Serum

This face serum is what I needed and I didn’t even know it. Based on the name you already know what it does. It tightens the skin and gives it a glow by brightening. I love this because it doesn’t bleach the skin. It’s great for anyone who has dull skin and you’re looking for your skin to have that healthy natural glow.

Moisturizer: La Roche Posay Toleriane Ultra Fluide

If you have sensitive skin and you need a moisturizer that not only provides moisture but allows your skin to retain moisture this is it. It is a very light moisturizer that works wonders on skin that’s been through it all. It doesn’t irritate the skin at all and it is soothing. It is free of preservative, paraben, fragrance, lanolin, alcohol and dye. It is worth every dollar.

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A good skin care regimen is the basis for overall skin health. It’s nice to look in the mirror and not have to deal with flaws or imperfections. It also puts my mind at ease that I can get in and out of bathroom and trust that the products I use will work as they say.

What’s your skin care products do you swear by?

DIY Bath time PlayDough

Hey there! Thank you so much for checking my blog. Your support and your attention is greatly appreciated. Just so you know, this post is not sponsored in any way and all opinions expressed are strictly my own.
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Bath Time Chronicles

In our household, bath time can be a very situation. That’s because my daughter knows that bath time leads to bedtime and bedtime…well bedtime is the opposite of fun. 

Ever since the parks were shut down, my daughter’s main source of fun has been confined to indoors. I had to since, appeal to her creative and boy does she have one. Recently my husband bought playdough but that dried out so, she’s been bored ever since. She always asks for it so I took matters into my own hands. 

PlayDough Search

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I knew that many other moms were far more creative than me and if I could alleviate my daughter’s creative itch than I would do it. After searching on Pinterest for DIY playdough, I found this super easy DIY playdough that my kid could use in her bath. 

Using the DIY Playdough Soap Recipe from Parenting Chaos, I found it super easy to follow. The best part is that there is room for error. You don’t need to worry about ruining a batch or losing a batch. The best part is that the recipe allows for a big batch to be made so you can store some for a later use. 

The Verdict

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Based on that smile you can see that she absolutely loves her playdough. She gets to roll it, pat it, fold and mold it according to her liking. She loves playing with it at the kitchen table while watching her YouTube videos. Every once in a while I am forced to pretend eat a slice of pink “cake” or a pink and red “hamburger”. 

What she loves most is that she can play with it in the bath tub. Eventually, the playdough falls apart in the tub as it foams up but it still retain it’s playdough texture. It foams up when introduced to water. 

Final Thoughts

Bathroom Cabinet Makeover

Hey there! Thanks for checking out my blog. I really having you here and your support (and attention) is greatly appreciated. Please note that this post is not sponsored by any of the products featured here and all opinions expressed are strictly my own. .

It was bad…

For those of you who follow me on Instagram (@iamsandyesprit for those of you don’t but want to follow me), you know that I recently organized my bathroom. They were in dire need of help. If you need the proof, see for yourself.

As you can see everything was everywhere. There was a vague form of organization but it looked more like organized chaos in a sea of an uncontrollable need to just erupt in careless. 

It was bad. I knew and something had to give. Quickly. 

Time to shop…

So I went straight to Amazon. I had an idea of what I wanted my bathroom cabinet to look like. I was inspired after seeing so many fellow influencer re-organizing their closet space. 

I needed to have something to store my make up, my hair products, my oral care products and whatever else I would find in that mess that I’d forgotten about. I searched drawers on Amazon and this came up, ZODDLE. In all honesty, I probably should’ve read the descriptions more carefully. 

I expected a stackable drawer set, that would pull out at the front. These are stackable but they actually pull down from the front. In fact they are not drawers, they are boxes meant to store shoes. But what the hay? I bought them and here they were. 

The Set Up

Now, setting up the first one was not easy. The instructions are pretty easy to follow, I mean if you can handle Ikea instructions, this will be a piece of cake. But still, dealing with the unfolding and setting up the box was a pain. Once I got the hang of it, the rest was easy peasy. 

Believe me, there was so many stuff in there. So with the help of my three year old, we cleared out the cabinets. It took almost three hours to have the cabinets cleaned out and organized. I had to throw out so many things; it’s crazy how many get lost in the midst of the mess. It was therapeutic to be able to sort through it all and have everything I need to made accessible again.  So with the help of my three year old, we cleared out the cabinets. 

The Verdict

If there ever was a time when I felt like I was adulting properly it’s now. Everything has it’s place and everything is easy to find. I have my side, my husband has his side (more like 2 shelves) and all is well with the world. 

My family has been able to sustain this and honestly I’m so proud of us. I don’t know how long it’ll stay this way but for now, everything is in place. 

Have you been reorganizing your space lately? Let me know what’s your process been like in the comments. 

Toddler Hair Wash Day ft. Earthtones Natural

Hey there! Thanks for checking out my blog. All items reviewed have been purchased by me and all opinions are completely my own. This post is no way sponsored by the brand.

If you follow me on Instagram (@iamsandyesprit for those of you who don’t) then you know that I recently purchased hair care products from Earthtones Natural. I’ve been seeing their ads on Facebook and had heard so much about them from Ottawa based hairstylist Paula C.(@curlyhairdesigns). I knew that I just had to try them. 

Why Earthtones Natural?

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Earthtones Natural is a hair care company based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada which is a plus for me because this eliminates custom fees. Also they provide free shipping for purchases over $40. I mean, what’s not to love? I get to support a Canadian based company and I get to save money all around.

I purchased their 125g Curl Condition Hydrating Conditioner, 250g Curl Quench Coconut Moisture Milk and 125g Curl Quench Hair Butter. I knew that the perfect candidate for these products would be my three year old toddler. She hates sitting still, so a hydrating, moisturizing, conditioning products that provide good slip is what this mama needs to get us both through a hair wash day. Would they be up to the challenge? We both would soon find out.

Application Time!!!

After shampooing my daughter’s hair with SheaMoisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil shampoo, I used the Curl Condition Hydrating Conditioner. I ordered the 125g jar, so I knew I didn’t want to use a lot of it. Well, this little jar packs the most slip. The texture of the conditioner is that of a gel-cream, which makes it easy to rub on the palms of your hand and work into the hair. I was able to finger detangle my daughter’s hair with ease within a minute or two of working the product in her hair. It was too easy. My daughter’s hair has a variety of different curl patterns, some parts of her hair are drier and coarser than others, therefore her hair can be a bit difficult to tend to. However, it was not the case with this conditioner. It also smells like a tropical getaway. The smell is so enticing, to me it’s like a pina colada on your hair.

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Once I rinsed out the conditioner, I towel dried her hair to get rid of the excess water. I parted her hair into some medium sized squares and got ready to set her hair for the week. With each square I used half a pump of the Curl Quench Coconut Milk first. The coconut milk feels more like a thicker lotion. It’s not lightweight so it’s best to start off light and apply more as needed. It doesn’t flake and just disappears into the hair.  I worked it throughout each strand with my fingers. Then I used a pea sized (literally a pea) of the Curl Quench Hair Butter and I worked it in starting at the bottom, where her hair tends to be drier. The butter is exactly what you would expect a hair butter to feel like. It is heavy cream and you definitely want to start off light. It provides a nice sheen and it doesn’t weight down the hair. Did I mention it smells amazing?

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Lo and behold, after I worked the product into her hair I was able to easily detangle her hair using my favourite detangling brush with so much. It literally took about 30 minutes to get her hair done. Normally it would take longer. She didn’t squirm as much due to pain. I was in and out and done. She was pleased.

Her hair smells so good. All of the products are a treat to the senses. I definitely recommend this any naturalista looking for products that is curated to provide shine, hydration, slip and easy usage. You don’t need a lot of product to get results.

Final Verdict

shared58Well this smile speaks for the both of us. We absolutely love it. Easy to use and easy to apply

Let me know if you tried it. How did you like it?

New Family Hobbies

Hey there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog. Today I’m just highlighting some of the hobbies that we’ve implemented in our routine to help us all adjust to our new “normal”. Of course, this mean more family time and messy kitchens. In the long run, it’s all worth it.

When I first realized that the parks were closing, I knew that my three year old would be distraught and I was in trouble. My daughter loves to be outside and anytime she can run around is a good day. Unfortunately, running around in the house isn’t a solution I am keen to accept, because she is also prone to bumps and bruises. So I decided to do what any other mama would do. I went to Pinterest and got some ideas.

As a result here are some hobbies that we’ve been adopting to avoid being bored in the house.

Arts & Crafts

Arts & crafts have never been my “thing”. I was never good at drawing or making/constructing anything that looked. In fact, the only type of crafts I’ve been able to perfect since elementary school has been the stick figure. And even then, it may look like an ancient hieroglyphics instead of a person.

Unlike me, my husband is super talented and can draw a sketch of a person that looks like it belongs in animation. But he’ll swear it’s a doodle, nothing more. Go figure! He started making little doodles and I noticed that my daughter asking to draw or paint. Since we didn’t have anything else, I started visiting Pinterest and get some ideas.

We got messy. We painted, made playdough and coloured outside lines…no, seriously this girls can’t keep the colours inside the lines to save her life. But all in all, we had fun. We bonded and she taught me that perfecting arts & crafts is not the goal. Just being with one another, enjoying a moment of creating something was the fun part.

At Home Parties

Growing up, we always had music playing in the house. It wasn’t uncommon for us on a friday night to just start dancing. My mom would often show us the hottest dances from her day and we would show her, what was current in our day. It was so much fun.

So I decided to pass along this “tradition”. The fun doesn’t need to end just because we’re home. We got dressed, put on our dancing outfits and grooved to the music. Surprisingly, Baby Shark was not on the playlist.

Reading

Reading has become a staple and lifesaver when I need the girls to just settle down. When I say the girls, I mean the older one. She has tons of energy and normally doesn’t like to sit still but when it’s story time, she’ll sit. Some of the books she’s already memorized. Her favourites include I Like Myself by Karen Beaumont, Dream Big Little One by Vashti Harrison and Fresh Princess  by Denene Milner.

Baking

I don’t know what it is about being in quarantine but it seems like everyone has been bitten by the baking bug and I was not exempt. Lately I’ve been watching Nailed It! on Netflix and watching everyone run around the kitchen getting their pastries in the oven is highly, until I became that girl in the kitchen. I was second guessing myself and double checking recipes. Meanwhile my sidekick, little miss Mae, was right there with me, mixing and stirring. She is definitely a chef in the making. We honestly have the best time baking in the kitchen. Of course, the eating part is our favourite.

Going For Walks

 

For her birthday, my daughter got some rollerblades. She had been dying to try them and I was really anxious about going outside. But on a beautiful day we took a walk as a family. Within 30 minutes, my girl was skating like a pro (okay maybe more like an advanced amateur) I couldn’t be more proud.

The Verdict

All of these activities are cost effective and really the main ingredient is time. Some days I really have to struggle to find the energy to even get up in the morning. Most days, I just do what I can to make it to naptime and then I count down until bedtime.

You see parenthood is hard. We’re all doing the best that we can. One of these days, the parks will re-open, the community centres will re-open and this little girl will be able to run up the ladder and go down the slide. But until then, we will pick up a new hobby, as a family.

What new hobbies have you picked up?

NYX Lippie For The Holidays

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Hi there! Thanks for checking out my blog. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

*Some of the items in this blog were gifted to me at one time but all opinions expressed are strictly my own*

The holidays are coming up and this means parties, get-together and maybe some family portraits. Of course, this means you want to look your best without spending a fortune.

This is why I’ve put together a list of my favourite NYX Lipsticks.

NYX lipstick give you amazing pigment, great quality at an affordable price. They can also be found almost anywhere.

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  NYX Limited Edition Whipped Wonderland Powder Puff Lip Cream in Butterscotch

I found this limited edition Powder Puff Lip Cream at Marshalls for $5.

I love it’s creamy formula. It applies nicely and evenly with amazing precision. I find that it dries down well to a matte finish on the lip but it can dry your lips out. Your best bet is to use a lip balm prior to using it.

This warm toned nude coloured lip cream is great for a “no make-up, make-up” look. It’s very to apply, just squeeze from the bottom and put it on your lips.

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NYX Lingerie Liquid Lipstick in Beauty Mark

This gorgeous liquid lipstick goes on like silk on the skin. It’s a dark chocolate taupe colour and is great for what I call a dramatized nude look.

Depending on the event, you may want to tone it down especially at the family get togethers. So I recommend for an easy application.
You can’t go wrong with this.

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NYX Lingerie Liquid Lipstick in Push-Up

If you want to go for an ombre nude look, why not pair it up with a lighter toned liquid lipstick.

When pairing 2 differing shades, you can create a look that gives you fuller-looking lips without using bold colours.

I must warn you that these liquid lipsticks are highly pigmented and if you have dry lips be sure to exfoliate and use a lip balm before using them. Otherwise you may end up emphasizing the cracks in your lips instead.

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NYX Liquid Suede Metallic Matte Liquid Lipstick in Modern Maven

I’ve personally gotten a lot of compliments with this liquid lipstick.

Like most of their liquid lipstick, I always make sure to wear a lip balm, especially with this one. It dries down to a matte finish. If I don’t wear a lip balm, my lips look like a crusty mess.

However when I do wear my lip balm, I look amazing. This lippie gives me matte shine easily without worrying about even application.

Also it gives me the ability to give my make-up a glam feel without spending an eternity on my face.

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NYX Ombré Lip Duo in Cinnamon & Spice

I bought this on a whim. I didn’t know what to expect to be honest. The first time I tried it, I hated it. I didn’t what I was doing.

Now however it’s a different story. It’s the easiest thing ever. This is like a contour and highlight lipstick in one. You get the lip liner and lipstick in crayon form in one package. This is great for people like me who want to try the latest trend like the ombre lip  but have no idea what they’re doing.

For the novice I highly recommend it, but if you want that professional look please hire a make-up artist.

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NYX Matte Lipstick in Perfect Red

 

If you want a simple, easy glam look for the holidays, I highly this classic matte lipstick. I absolutely love this lipstick.

I pair this up with a cat-eye and off we go.

It’s honestly the best investment I’ve made when purchasing a red lipstick. This red is bold for the inner boss lady in all of us. Or, the last minute mom who just needs to glam up really quickly for that event you forgot was happening because of life.

I mean coffee is great and all, but a red lipstick just takes the term “bright eyes and bushy tailed” to a whole other level.

What are your favourite lippies for the holiday season?

Pregnancy Self Diagnosis Gone Wrong

Hey there! Thank you for checking my blog. For those of you who’ve been following here or on my instagram, you know how anxious I’ve been (click here to read my post regarding this). However, I committed myself to enjoying my pregnancy this time around and sucessfully I did. Until that fateful day when everything changed.

On Sunday, September 22, 2019 I gave birth to my second daughter.

It was everything I didn’t expect.

Like my first, it was a vaginal birth. That’s where the similarities end.

Unlike my first delivery, my water unknowingly broke on my way down to another city four hours away from home. Unfortunately, without having had my water break before I thought I had a leaky bladder. You see the kicker is that my water broke Friday night at 10:00 pm. I looked the mucous plug, the “showing”, the slight pinkish-bloody fluid (I had done my research) and I saw nothing but clear fluid. I smelled my underwear and smelled urine. So then, I waited for the contractions but got nothing. In my head I was fine and my bladder lost the battle of control to my unborn child.

The next day (Saturday morning), I shot a music video (more on that later) and hung out with my daughter at the beach.

 

 

 

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I was exhausted. Mind you I was still “leaking” but no contractions.

The day went on without any issues, we got back to our room that night and prepared ourselves for the drive back home.

In the middle of the night, or early Sunday morning, I was awakened by a sudden need to use the washroom. At first I felt cramping but I dismissed it as maybe having eaten something that didn’t agree with my stomach. The third time, I had to go to the washroom, the pain that came with it was so intense I knew we had to go to the hospital.

There was no time for epidural. From start to finish everything was less than an hour. I hated labour. I’m grateful it was fast but I hated it.

But she is here. Healthy and thriving.

Unfortunately, because my water broke over 24 hours before the doctors had to do so many tests. This is why I am writing this post.

Losing amniotic fluid during the pregnancy is never good because the amniotic fluid is what keeps the unborn child safe. Without realizing it, I placed my child’s health in jeopardy by not going to the hospital earlier.

Learn from my mistake. If you see leakage that wasn’t there before GO TO THE HOSPITAL!

There is so much information online these day and as much as I love Google, there are certain things that can’t be self-diagnosed. Especially when it comes to your health. So get that professional opinion and be safe.

 

Postpartum Sexyback

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Hi there. Thank you so much for checking my blog. Your continued support is really appreciated. As I look toward the end of the week I am reminded that my wedding anniversary is coming up. I cannot believe how fast time has gone. .

Let’s Catch Up

shared1We’re going on 5 years of marital bliss and so much has happened since. Let me list the ways:

  • I’ve given birth to two beautiful girls
  • I no longer fit in my wedding dress as a result
  • I found out that I can survive without sleep when necessary
  • I love being at home
  • My body has done for me and my girls than I ever thought it could
  • I have tiger stripes also know as cellulite

Honestly, much more has happened but for the sake of this post I decided to focus on me. In case you missed it, what I listed are the changes in my physical appearance and it wasn’t by accident. 

Physical Confidence

20180902_181353-01796336718.jpegWhen I was younger I was really insecure about how thin I was. It was very common for someone to comment on my weight and my lack of it. I was very self-conscious about my butt, I was told it was too big. I cared about the length of my hair and how I never was able to retain any length. The list goes on. 

Fast forward a few years and I finally see the beauty in my thin frame and every curve of my body. I began to appreciate the woman I saw in the mirror. It also helped when Tyra Banks reposted one of my selfies…good times. But then I got pregnant. 

I knew the weight gain would be temporary and I was expecting a speedy weight loss because I had a plan. I remember the night when I realized that I had nothing in my closet that fit. I wasn’t making a lot of money so it’s not like I could’ve gone on a shopping. I sat down on my bed and I began to cry. My husband came in and consoled me. He reassured me that I was still beautiful in his eyes but at that point it didn’t matter. 

Postpartum 

20170531_165226.gifOnce I had my girls, I was grateful for their health and while I was savouring every part of motherhood, I began to miss my “normal” body or what I grew accustomed to be my “normal” body. I found myself bumping into things. I was becoming clumsy.

My knees were beginning to hurt doing simple squats and lunges. I really hated that. I was feeling aches and pains that I wasn’t accustomed to. I also couldn’t fit into my clothes and my size had gone from 4 to 14 within the span of a year. I found myself shying away from anything that didn’t stretch or hide from my tummy. This began to hurt my confidence. 

How was I going to get my sexy back?

Journey to Sexy

First I had to realize that sexy isn’t based on size but on self confidence. My husband still finds me attractive and so it’s not coming from him. It’s all internal. I needed to shut that voice up and counter it with the truth. Here’s the truth:

  • My body birthed 2 babies
  • my body fed 2 babies
  • my body can move
  • my body continues to surprise me and allows me to overcome any challenge thrown at me

You see my body wasn’t the problem. My mind was. So I decided to start working out. I started buying work out clothes. Cute ones that would brighten my mood. I started participating in challenges that forced me to put on makeup and get dressed. I even started buying clothes that fit and shows off my figure. 

Now here I am loving my body for what it is. I mean why not? My husband doesn’t have that issue. 

Have you felt this way before? 

Black Girk in a White World

I debated on whether or not I should even write this post given the political climate of our world right now. I am tired. But if not now when?

I am a black woman. I was born of two black people, out of the country of Haiti. Haiti is known as the first country to win its independence from the French after roughly 10 years of intense and well calculated attacks. My bloodline consists of warriors who just do not roll over when the going gets tough. My ancestors fought for their freedom and the legacy that once set precedent for the black man has been reduced to that of a third world country.

I remember working at a customer service job and a white older lady asked me if I was grateful to be here in Canada as opposed to Haiti. My blood boiled at the thought that she assumed that I was here because I was some immigrant. That I was some charity case for this country. The nerve of this woman, that I should be grateful. This country should be grateful to have me! But I did as I always did, I hid. I tactfully informed her that I had distant relatives who owned land and that I would be quite all right if I so choose to go to Haiti.

I’ve been told numerous times to go to where I come from. I guess my black skin doesn’t allow anyone to think that I was born here even though the only place that I legally come from is this country. I’ve been called racial slurs. I’ve been called ghetto. Then I showed them how “ghetto” I could be and that shut her up real quick. In that moment I became the stereotype she saw me as. I’ve been told that my hair looked like a Brillo pad. I’ve been treated as the token black girl because I was “cool” enough to be friends with the white kids. I’ve been asked to speak on issues simply because of my skin colour, I’ve also been dismissed when I spoke up because of my skin colour. Canada isn’t racist, and yet… “driving while black” is still an issue. Racial profiling is still an issue. I don’t know how many times my husband and I have been stopped for absolutely NO REASON. When I say no reason, I mean the police officer provided no reason, not one reason. You know how it goes, when they realized they made an assumption that bears no fruit because their tone goes from cold and stern to super friendly as they hand back the license and registration. I’ve had customers give me dirty looks and proceed to the nearest white cashier, I’ve been slapped in the face by a customer (after being told I should go back to my country and I said I would after she went back), so how do I raise black girls in this white country?

Well for starters, they are not allowed to ever change for their peers. I will be the woman I expect them to be. Knowledgeable and proud of their history, aware of their rights and privileges, kind, smart, beautiful and well spoken individuals ready to make positively powerful and effective changes so that this generation doesn’t have to hide their “blackness”. You see our generation will not bow down to no man but God. Our children will be able to go out and come home safely. Our children will not be viewed as weapons but as human beings. A human who doesn’t have to work twice as hard in order to prove themselves, they will be respected and treated fairly.

After all, those that came before me, in 1804 fought and bled so that we could manifest the vision they had. So, why wait?

Artsy Time, Egg Carton Sailboat

Hi there! Thanks for checking out my blog. Just to let you know that this post isn’t sponsored by anything other than my desire to keep my 2 year old occupied long enough to take a deep breath.

Ever since, the parks have been close it’s been really hard to find activities that will keep my kid entertained while I tend to my 6 month old, indoors. Since she’s not into running up and the stairs, I figured I should come up with a plan that will be fun for her.

So I did what any other mom would do. I went on Pinterest and finally caved in to doing some arts & crafts.

Inspired by Woo Jr. my daughter and I (mostly me) decided to create a sailboat. It went a little something like this.

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So thank you The Spruce Craft for sharing! My daughter totally loves her sailboat and I’m just happy it kept occupied.

Let me know what crafts you’ve been up to.

Quarantine, Mom Guilt, etc.

Hi guys! I know that I have been MIA for a while now. I’ve been inconsistent and I’m hoping to change that. Currently, my house looks like it’s suffered the invasion of the Jumanji jungle. I’m so exhausted that I’m nauseous. My toddler has a birthday coming up and I’m scratching my head trying to figure out how I can make her day special.

We, like many other families, are transitioning into a new normal. One that we didn’t plan for, it came unexpectedly. Even though, this is only temporary, it doesn’t change the fact that we are all feeling the effects of it.

I’m not going to lie. There have been many good that has come out of it, personally speaking. I’m sure that my daughter would agree that I’ve allowed her to do more arts and crafts. I’ve become less concerned about the state of cleanliness, or so it seems. Inside I cringe at the mess that I see and keep it all inside until I can grab a broom and frantically create a space that calms my spirit.

Cleaning has become my coping mechanism. That and working out, singing, painting, listening to worship music, my “at-home” photo shoot, doing my daughter’s hair, binging Law & Order,  pretty much anything that I can do to make me feel productive and avoid being outside. Better yet, avoid feeling anxious. I’ve never been good at feeling anxious. I don’t like stress.

I can hide stress, I know how to act under pressure. I know how to hide, suppress and avoid stress. You see, I was taught at an early age to see and not react. I was trained to be seen and not heard. I can execute any role flawlessly on the surface but when it comes time to voice my concerns, problems arise. This is one skill I refuse to pass on to my children.

So you see, I have concerns like everyone else. I am scared of contracting this virus not because of what it will do to me but because of how it will affect my husband and children. I don’t want to be separated from my family. I don’t want them to be separated from me. I’ve got a 6 month old that I’m still breastfeeding. I don’t want to stop giving her my milk. I don’t want to miss any monumental event in their lives. I know how my girls speak and they understand me. I like us. I don’t want them to see this weakness and because I associated this anxiety as weakness I do all that I can to hide it from them.

So I make up for it by looking for crafts that my girl can do quietly.  I stay at home with my girls like a good citizen, avoiding the news, but staying up to date via the internet research. I find entertainment on social media. I try to hug my girls as much as possible. Most times it’s not to the level that I envisioned. I don’t sleep like I should, therefore I am tired. When I am tired I get cranky. I lose my cool way more than I would like. I’ve had to apologize more than I’d like to admit. I carry the weight of shame for not being the emotionally supportive wife to my husband and mother to my children, but most importantly, friend to myself. It transferred into mom guilt and has kept me from really being the blessing I was made to be to everyone including myself.

I felt guilty because I feared that I wasn’t creating a space where my girls could thrive emotionally. I felt guilty because I felt like I should know better and do better. I felt like I wasn’t being the “good” mom I believe my girls deserved. I saw myself repeating certain traits I saw growing up and I began to resent myself for allowing it to continue. I couldn’t understand why I would fail the same God who gave me these children and in turn fail them.

Turns out, I was wrong. My husband made sure to point that out.

I was doing my best. My best is good enough.

So wherever you are, whoever you are I hope you know that you are not alone. You are not feeling this by yourself. It’s normal to feel guilty. It’s normal to feel anxious. It’s normal for it to hit you like a ton of bricks a month after social distancing laws have been enforced. It’s totally normal.

So give yourself grace. Give yourself room to learn, adapt and evolve. You’ve made it this far being able to overcome every obstacle and challenge you faced up until now. You will get through this and you will be better because of it.

Speak life and forgiveness into your soul. Take a breath and note every single blessing you’ve been given at this time. Because believe me it won’t last forever and soon we’ll be back to saying “I wish I had more time…”